Combating voter apathy in the 21st century: Roundtable discussion with Sisi and Assad

The recent European elections highlighted the problems facing democratic systems today as a result of declining voter participation and political apathy. In order to explore solutions for this problem, we organised a roundtable discussion with two of the leading figures in encouraging voter participation, Egypt’s Abdel Fattah al-Sisi and Syria’s Bashar al-Assad. Both men have organised presidential elections that they are going to win, and have resorted to innovative methods to encourage voting.

Exhibition of Sisi's child drawings reveals early genius

An exhibition of Abdel Fattah al-Sisi's drawings as a child opened in Cairo recently, revealing a sensitive and artistic side to the man expected to win the next Egyptian presidential elections.

Egypt Escalates Its War on Language, Radically Trims down The Alphabet

In a radical move aimed at stopping the misuse of language to tarnish the country’s image abroad, Egyptian authorities today announced a radical new initiative to cut down the number of letters in the alphabet. The National Linguistic Transition Programme is the first initiative of its kind anywhere in the world, and will see the alphabet gradually reduced to the letters S and I only. The government expects the programme to create the conditions for a harmonious society free from the frictions generated by the liberal use of words to cause discord.

A government spokesperson announced the details of the bold programme in a press conference attended only by official media representatives as all other journalists were tied up. The spokesperson discussed at length the historic precedents for introducing the programme, arguing that ‘Egypt was always a country of hieroglyphs’ and ‘the alphabet was a foreign import that goes against our heritage and traditions’.

What Tony Blair REALLY said in Egypt

While checking the Arabic and English transcripts of the statements that Tony Blair made during his visit to Egypt today I noticed discrepancies between the two. It turns out the English statement reported in the media was translated from the Arabic which was translated from the original English, and some of the meaning was lost in translation. Below is what he actually said.

"This is what I say to my colleagues in the west. The fact is, the Muslim Brotherhood tried to hijack the country through democratic elections when it is clearly not ready for democracy. The army have intervened, at the whim of its leaders, but in order to take the country to the next stage of its development, which should be autocratic, we should be supporting the new government in doing that.

Egypt launches audacious 'Extreme Tourism' campaign

Egypt launched today an audacious 'Extreme Tourism' ad campaign aimed at attracting foreign tourists. The campaign named 'Extreme Egypt' is an attempt to cash in on the lucrative extreme sports and entertainment industry by capitalizing on Egypt's reputation for danger and thrills. The campaign comes as a result of the declining numbers of tourists from traditional sectors and aims to attract a different type of tourist that will be drawn to the multitude of adrenaline-fuelled experiences that today's Egypt can offer. Below are some of the posters used in the campaign. Click on images to zoom.

Like this blog's page on Facebook to stay updated about new posts or follow me on Twitter or read my other parodies here. 

In the shadow of the pyramids, a patriotic romance

The following excerpt is taken from romantic novel inspired by the latest events in Egypt. The author is reported to be an acclaimed international writer but has chosen to keep her identity secret. 

With an impatient gesture Egypt kicked off the bed sheets. She had finally decided that sleep won’t come to her that night. The bed she lay in was comfortable and warm, but it wasn’t the mild winter temperature that made sleep elude her. As she stretched and rose off the bed, her thoughts finally confronted the real source of her anxiety. Him. The man she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about for months. The rugged general that every woman dreams of meeting. He had pursued her with the clear intent of a man accustomed to getting what he wants. She whispered his name to herself, the two identical musical syllables that enchanted so many others beside her. She realised that the cold sweat that covered her body reflected her deep yearning.

Essay: The Arab Uprisings and Self-Determination - The Missed Opportunity

This essay was written in August 2013 and was published in German in Novo Argumente. I am publishing it in English for the first time here. 

As I write these words, a bloody massacre is being committed by the Egyptian police and army as they attempt to clear out two Muslim Brotherhood encampments set up to protest the military coup that removed President Mohamed Morsi from power on the 3rd of July. Amid the violence that claimed hundreds of lives, the authorities declared the return of the dreaded State of Emergency, a reminder of Egypt’s decades-long dictatorship which came to end when Hosni Mubarak was deposed on the 11th of February 2011. The combination of the violent repression and the reinstatement of the State of Emergency have effectively ended Egypt’s short-lived democracy, at least for now.

Frequently Asked Questions about Morsi’s Show Trial

We answer questions about the laws and events behind ousted president Mohamed Morsi's trial, scheduled to begin on Monday.

What kind of court will conduct the trial?

Kangaroo.

Are show trials normal in Egypt?

Only when regular trials are inconvenient.

Isn't this against the spirit of the law?

We don’t come to your country and tell you how to run your courts.

Don't Shout At The Telly : The Coup In Egypt

Watch the discussion that I did with the Worldwrite volunteers about the coup in Egypt.

Egyptian man experience vague sense of déjà vu while out protesting in support of the army

An Egyptian man experienced a vague sense of déjà vu while out protesting in support of the army last Friday. Mohamed al-Nassi, 64 from Cairo, felt the yet unexplained sensation when he was at Tahrir Square carrying a large poster of army chief Abdul Fattah al-Sisi.

'I am like Warda': Exclusive Interview with General al-Sisi, the leader of the Glorious Egyptian Army

Since the Corrective Operation to Unseat the President (COUP) in Egypt, one name has been on everyone’s lips, General Abdul-Fattah al-Sisi the leader of the Glorious Egyptian Army©. It’s true a few were cursing him, but most honourable citizens of Egypt and the other Arab countries were behind the General’s historical corrective manoeuvre against the Muslim Brotherhood.

Egypt launches ambitious campaign to 'end humour' by 2018

The Egyptian government today announced ambitious plans to 'end humour' by 2018. Modelled after the hugely successful 'End Poverty' global campaign, the initiative will aim to eliminate humour, satire and joke-telling from Egyptian society within a tightly-controlled five-year plan. Smiling will also be frowned upon, even though it won't be strictly prohibited.

The campaign was launched earlier today by ordering the arrest of popular TV satirist Bassem Youssef, widely seen as a symbol of the nation's obsession with flippancy and light-heartedness. A stern-looking government spokesman announced that this is a symbolic strike at the entire echelon of satire and joke-telling that has infiltrated Egyptian society, hinting that foreign hands have been behind the drive to paralyse the nation through the promotion of humour in a strict religious nation.

Tribes With Flags - Is the Arab State Really Dead?

Aaron David Miller stirred up quite a hornet’s nest with his recent article in FP ‘Tribes With Flags’, in which he questions the ‘myth of Arab statehood’. Some of the angry responses to Miller’s article were more outraged by the provocative title, with its insinuations of camel-riding bandits, than with the substance of his argument. I’m personally not worked up about the title, it’s a metaphor he’s using as a figurative extension of his argument. The real problem is his shoddy and complacent reasoning.

The Phoenicians Go To Egypt

Clink on image to enlarge.

Click here for other Abdeshmun and Hanno Cartoons.

Like this blog's page on Facebook to stay updated about new posts or follow me on Twitter.

Unfinished Revolution: Discussion on Egypt (Video)

Video of the Cross Talk discussion with myself, Wael Eskandar and Ariel Ratner.

"Egypt's revolution is in crisis. Will it lead to revolution 2.0? The current political establishment has barely had enough time to govern – does this mean the country is at a dead-end? Does the opposition only want to see the current powers fail? Could it do a better job?"

A Short Conversation at an Egyptian Black Bloc House

There's always that one guy at anarchist demonstrations that stands out from the rest, but nobody has bothered to understand this phenomenon so far. In what follows, we give you an insight into the back story and unmask the real reasons behind it.

“Mum, I need some money”

“What for? I just gave you some yesterday”

Egypt's National Salvation Front: The Sultan's Slackers

Read my comment piece on Now News about Egypt's ineffective opposition.

The Incredibly Prescient Egyptian Papyrus

Click on the image to zoom. 

The Guardian's Editorial on Egypt Re-Imagined

This Guardian editorial on the crisis in Egypt was written on 7 December 2012. Below is the same editorial re-imagined as if it were written in January 2011, with minor changes like replacing Morsi with Mubarak. Makes for interesting reading. 

As the crisis in Egypt develops, it is becoming increasingly clear what it is not about. It is not about the elections, or the economic crisis, or Egypt’s relationship with Israel. Nor is it about the arrangements for a successor to the president. Nor even is it about the temporary but absolute powers that the Egyptian president, Hosni Mubarak, assumed for himself – for a mere thirty years, and which will lapse the moment the Egyptian people stop making a fuss.

Morsi's Twelve Days of Christmas

President Morsi of Egypt is having an eventful period recently, which we are commemorating with this adaptation of The Twelve Days of Christmas:

On the first day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me

One hell of a decree...

On the twelfth day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me

Twelve Salafists screaming,

Eleven newspapers a-striking,

Ten feloul a-weeping,

Nine protesters a-chanting,

Eight opposition leaders a-spying,

Seven judges a-declining,

Six IMF geese a-loaning,

Five palace-fleeing wings,

Four foolish words, (Planet of the Apes)

Three State Department friends,

Two Israeli doves,

And one hell of a decree!