|That looks complicated. We're so impressed|
We recently received a spam letter from one of your representatives and while we appreciate the effort that went into writing it, you must understand that we are busy and we don’t have time to read advice from former global powers. We have tried to unsubscribe from your spam by replying to the email with ‘unsubscribe’ in the subject line but invariably we keep getting unsolicited advice from your politicians, ambassadors, journalists and Robert Fisk. So we had no other option but to write this letter.
Firstly, let’s address the matter of age. We get the impression that you were talking down to us as a young 70-year-old republic. The key word here is republic, something that still eludes you as you cling to an archaic monarchy and try to pass it off as a national quirk rather than the medieval anachronism that it is.