12 Feb 2014

Would you like a Viagra with that, Sir? A short sketch on privacy in Lebanon


Customer: Hello.

Pharmacist: Hello, hello, how are we doing today?

Customer: Ehhh. Can I have some Panadol please?

Pharmacist: Your children giving you a headache?

Customer: No, I don’t have children.

Pharmacist: Would you like the small one with 12 tablets or this special package with 500?

Customer: The small one please.


Pharmacist: Are you sure? You always have a headache in this country, better stock up.

Customer: I don’t have a headache.

Pharmacist: Your wife nagging you, right?

Customer: No, no, God bless her, she’s an angel.

Pharmacist: Newly married, eh? Wait till you have been married for a few years.

Customer: We’ve been together for five years.

Pharmacist: And no kids yet? Is everything ok with her?

Customer: No, we’re just not ready yet. One day, inshallah.

Pharmacist: I don’t want to offend you, but if it’s from you I highly recommend Viagra, we have a special offer today.

Customer: I don’t need Viagra, I’m ok. Just the Panadol please!

Pharmacist: Why are you so annoyed? You look stressed.

Customer: This is taking a long time.

Pharmacist: You’re impatient; this is a sign of stress. I have this great herbal treatment for stress.

Customer: Just the Panadol please!

Pharmacist: Of course, of course. 4000.

Customer: I only have 50000.

Pharmacist: Should I give you change or would you like to take some anti-depressant pills? You never know.

Customer: Change please.

Pharmacist: Ok, let me put it in a bag for you. If you don’t mind me saying, looks like you’re growing a little belly there. That’s a sign of a real man.

Customer: I’ve been really busy recently and didn’t have time for exercise. I’ll get around to it.

Pharmacist: How about those magic diet pills from China? Work wonders. It’s ancient medical wisdom combined with modern science. They’re from rhino horn. My customers love it.

Customer: No, thank you, I will just exercise.

Pharmacist: Is this a religious thing? They’re approved by priests and sheikhs, it’s very professional.

Customer: No, it’s not a religious thing.

Pharmacist: Where are you from?

Customer: What does that matter?

Pharmacist: The Chinese medicine is approved for all Lebanese sects, pardon me for mentioning that.

Customer: It’s not that. I’m ok.

Pharmacist: But you’re not from here, right?

Customer: Oh for the love of God, I have a headache now!

Pharmacist: I told you! I knew you it the moment you walked in.

Customer grabs the bag and leaves angrily.

Pharmacist turns to his assistant: What a rude man. I knew he wasn’t from around here.

With apologies in advance to all my pharmacist friends in Lebanon, none of them would behave like that. This is a rhetorical scenario. 

No comments:

Post a comment

Karl reMarks is a blog about Middle East politics and culture with a healthy dose of satire.

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.