The Middle East Geopolitics Guide to Surviving Office Politics

The backstabbing, the plotting, the scheming, the conspiracies, the competition for resources; the world of corporate office politics is surely a difficult one in which to survive. Fortunately, experts in management theory have recently noticed the similarities between the intricacies of corporate office politics and the realm of Middle East geopolitics and have turned to the latter for inspiration on how to survive and thrive in the hostile, cutthroat world of the modern corporation. Below are the initial findings of this thrilling study.

Resources

Much like with Middle Eastern geopolitics, controlling resources is crucial to increasing your power in the corporate world. Be sure to get a desk near the water cooler where you can observe who’s talking to whom and what they are discussing. Coffee is also another important geopolitical commodity, and if you can work your way to controlling coffee supplies in the office it will go a long way towards earning you favours and consolidating your power. Office workers will do anything for a good cup of coffee in the morning.

Interactive diagram of geopolitical relationships in the Middle East

Click to zoom. (That's kind of interactive)

Netanyahu warns of nightmarish future in which Arabs do regular stuff

Taking a break from warning about the existential threat posed by Iran to the free world, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has issued a rallying cry and a warning against another major threat: Arabs are doing regular stuff. Netanyahu’s ‘the Arabs are voting!’ has resonated around the world, as he unleashed an apocalyptic warning of the dangers of a future in which Arabs voted, got jobs in management and perhaps even went to the cinema occasionally.

Arab Leaders Agree On Banning Opinions

In an unprecedented major reform initiative, Arab League leaders have arrived at an agreement to ban opinions entirely. The leaders, who met recently in Egypt, have come to the realisation that the number one reason for disagreement is differing opinions, and have decided to end this nefarious source of subdivision and disharmony once and for all. From now on, they declared, only the truth will be allowed.

Putin on spiritual retreat to ponder the ethical questions of life

Is Man predestined or does he have a choice? What is the role of human agency in shaping our life? Can we take what’s not rightfully ours under certain circumstances? How can we make sure we act morally in a world where it is increasingly hard to tell right from wrong? Is there indeed a right and a wrong or is everything relative? These and many other questions will be contemplated by Russian leader Vladimir Putin in his spiritual retreat which started ten days ago.

Christians, Jews and Atheists: A Photo Guide to Western People

It has become customary for Western media to identify the religion of people that appear in stories and photographs about the Middle East in a very precise manner. This is a very helpful development, that allows the audience to form a complete opinion about the issues being discussed. For example, a story about a patient getting into an argument with a dentist would be different if the two were Sunnis or one was Sunni and the other was Shiite.  

Female Arab TV Presenter Smiles Live On Air

Just a week after a female Lebanese TV presenter ended a live interview when a Muslim scholar told her to shut up, another female Lebanese TV presenter has smiled during a live broadcast. The brave presenter has shattered stereotypes about women in stern conservative Arab and Muslim countries by smiling repeatedly and bravely on camera while asking questions. Her confidence appeared to embolden her female colleague, and their female guest to also smile naturally while speaking live on air. The female guest was also wearing a headscarf while smiling live on air, thereby shattering even more stereotypes.