7 Nov 2014

Qatar Launches Ambitious Nobel Prize Programme, Acquires Einstein For $10mn

The small, oil-and-gas rich, state of Qatar has concluded a $10mn deal to acquire the legacy of Albert Einstein in a bid to increase its number of Nobel Prize laureates. The deal is the first step of a an ambitious programme to increase Qatar’s historic contributions to science and will be followed by further deals to acquire Pierre and Maria Curie, Guglielmo Marconi, Max Planck, Enrico Fermi and many others.

Under the terms of the deal arrived at with Mr Einstein’s heirs, the late scientist will be granted Qatari citizenship posthumously and will be referred to as ‘the German-American-Qatari scientist’. Qatar will acquire the right to use the image of the scientist, known for his theory of relativity and iconic hairstyle, and promote him as one of the leading Qatari scientists.

In return, Mr Einstein’s heirs receive $10mn which will be used to fund science projects and provide scholarships for science students, preserving the legacy of the Qatari visionary scientist and helping educate other scientists for the future. Distinguished graduates of this programme will be automatically offered Qatari citizenship to help promote the country’s overall contribution to science.

A similar programme to promote Qatar’s historic contributions to philosophy and thought is being considered, with a possible deal to acquire British Nobel laureate and philosopher Bertrand Russell. It is understood that the deal has been delayed over Russell’s atheism, and a posthumous conversion to Islam is being discussed.

When the first phase of the programme concludes in five years, Qatar’s contribution to science in the twentieth century will be recognised bringing its total number of Nobel laureates to 16. No other Arab country has come anywhere near matching this historic achievement, a fact that reflects very well on the country’s image abroad.

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Karl reMarks is a blog about Middle East politics and culture with a healthy dose of satire.

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